"New Year, New Me." "New Year, Same Me."
It seems like this is a part of the year where everyone makes goals while simultaneously everyone mocks people for making goals. Some people need to change and some people think they are okay right where they are at. They are going to keep doing the same thing they did last year because that's who they are and who they want to be.
However, we all need to change, and sometimes the start of a new year is the perfect time to start making changes. We all need to change because we are not perfect. It is impossible to be perfect and there are things where most of us probably want to be more perfect at. There are just degrees of becoming better or worse at something. These things may change, but to say you are perfectly fine with the way you are just means you are settling, or the most enlightened individual of all time. I'll let you make that decision, but I know I am definitely not the latter.
I think adopting the "new year, same me" mindset is really just part of living in fear. It is too scary and uncomfortable to change. It requires us to acknowledge and feel some very uncomfortable things and that is no easy task. A much easier task is to say you don't want to change and mock people who set New Year's resolutions.
So, the only person that really knows that you need to change and what to change is you. The key is to not fool yourself because your mind is going to try to convince you that you are okay with where you're at. But, it is perfectly okay with not feeling okay with where you're at and all the very hard feelings that come with that. Maybe you need to lose weight, maybe you need to eat healthier, maybe you need to be a better spouse, etc. The first step in becoming better in any of these areas is to first admit that you need to be better. That honestly might be the toughest part for most people. Once you can feel the negative feelings you can start to align with what needs to be done in order to accomplish those goals. This may even lead to some positive feelings. Making a plan and the thought of sticking to it and making progress can start to feel good.
I think there are two things that drastically effect whether or not you achieve your goals. One, is obviously doing the work necessary to reach those goals, but everyone knows that. I think what is harder for most people is letting themselves not feel like shit when they screw up the plan or don't temporarily do the work. Life is a long journey and there really isn't any failure. There is just learning and refusing to learn. The key is giving yourself some grace in the process while also ruthlessly pursuing your goals. These two things combined can become very lethal.
I know this isn't a very comprehensive and practical guide to achieving your goals, but it also seems the common ideas thrown around aren't working to well either. I think the relationships we have with our goals and also therefore ourselves can play a much bigger part than we think.
If you wanted to get started on your journey this year and think you need some help. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an assessment!